Who is Watching the Baby?

If you think that the decision to have a child is a big one, deciding who will take care of the child once she’s born is even bigger. Yet too many parents take this decision very lightly. The rapid increase of day care centers testifies to the fact that more and more mothers are re-entering the work force before their babies go off to preschool. The stories of the abuse these children encounter at these “certified” centers are also increasing in alarming numbers.
It’s true that times have changed and that in this world of economical unstableness, a lot of women have had to go out and find a job, against their wishes. It’s also true that more and more women value their professional life and are unwilling to stay at home when they could be out there using their intelligence and skills to make good money.
One thing is clear: if you have decided to work outside your home while your child is still too young for school, you don’t have that many options. Basically, your choices boil down to a day care facility, a nanny or a family member.
Day Care Facilities.
Make an appointment to visit the center you’re interested in. Talk to the caregivers and ask specific questions about anything that you feel is important. Make a list of things you need to know and take it along with
you. This is because you might forget something you thought about when
you were at home. Some questions you might want to ask are:
1. How do they handle children with unacceptable behavior like
biting, fighting, using obscene or inappropriate language, etc.?
2. What type of activities will the children be involved in during
their stay?
3. What kinds of foods or snacks are served, and will you be
allowed to send your own lunch? This is really important if
your child is on a special diet due to your religious or health
convictions.
4. How many caregivers do they have per child?
Check the bathrooms and playgrounds and talk to other parents who have their children there to try to get a feel of the place. Also, ask if you can watch the caregivers interacting with the children for a few minutes. Don’t be afraid of seeming too anxious. Your peace of mind and your child’s safety are extremely important.
The Nanny.
An old college friend told me that after having her first child, she contacted
a woman she knew to care for her baby while she worked. This woman was not a stranger to her and besides she had excellent references. Apparently everything was going well until one day when the baby was about 17 months old. She was surprised when her next door neighbor left her a message at her job. She rushed home to find the nanny in the living room peacefully knitting and watching TV, while the baby screamed from her crib in the bedroom with a soaking and soiled diaper. She confronted the woman who, of course, had no decent explanation to offer.
No matter how impressive a nanny’s recommendations might be,
listen to your heart and use your common sense. If it is at all possible,
have someone you trust stop by every now and then to see if everything is
in order. Please don’t feel guilty about “spying”. It’s your child’s physical
and even mental health that is at stake.
Family Members.
Sometimes dealing with the people who are closest to us can be very difficult. Precisely because of the family ties, some people get the feeling that your wishes and instructions don’t need to be taken seriously. After all, we’re family, right? So make sure that whomever you chose to care for your child is emotionally mature enough to do things your way--whether they agree with you or not.
Many mothers complain that family members give their children too much candy and junk food to eat or they don’t respect naptimes and bedtime or they allow the children to watch too much TV. Be sure to make your rules about these issues crystal clear.
One grandmother insisted on giving the two-month-old baby boy cereal against the mother’s wishes “because”, she claimed “I gave you cereal at that age and you turned out fine”. Today there are studies that link Type 2 diabetes with this old habit.
Before conflicts erupt that could lead to many hurt feelings, calmly demand that your wishes be respected. No matter how wonderful navel girdles worked in the good old days or how important it was to put a red bow around the baby’s wrist, or how quickly one got rid of hiccups by sticking a match in the baby’s hair, it’s your baby and you’re calling the shots.
If someone in your family is willing and happy to care for your child, consider giving them some type of remuneration. If you had to engage the services of somebody outside the family, it wouldn’t be for free. Most of all look for somebody who loves your child and is willing to get messy and play with him.

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