When do You Know for Sure it is Time for Divorce?

The decision-making process will be filled with anxiety and your choices will have a huge impact on you and your family. If you are a parent, then you will have to exercise your options even more carefully. In a marriage with children, you need to ensure that you can provide your children an atmosphere that is conducive to their fragile formative years post-divorce.

The important thing to understand here would be that you should not use children as an excuse to stay in a marriage just because of your indecision. Some people just do not opt for divorce because they are not sure if they want a divorce or have some fear pertaining to divorce. These fears can be inability of the leaving spouse to deal with finances post-divorce, lack of proper living arrangements, lack of self-confidence, or fear of living by himself or herself. Often, couples just engage themselves more in their work or other aspects of their lives to ignore facing or sorting out an unhappy marriage. You might start viewing your marriage reaping no apparent benefits.

Each marriage consists of different individuals and what might be acceptable behaviour for some may not be acceptable to others. In fact, every individual’s circumstances will also be different and hence it becomes imperative that you keep all the factors in mind while making your decision to stay or walk out of your marriage. A marriage is based on many hopes and dreams about your future together and breaking a marriage means falling apart of all those memories and plans that were dear to you. Therefore, even if children are not involved and your assets are not at risk, the decision to divorce can still be a difficult one. Let us categorise potential marital problems or understand what course of action can be taken with respect to each.

Potential Problems in a Marriage and Recognizing whether Divorce is Your Answer

• Is the problem a marriage problem or is it a problem exclusive to you? While you may consider a problem to be an issue related to marriage, your spouse may not. You will have to understand if the problem in question is being caused by you or is it truly caused by your spouse. Take steps to rectify your behaviour if you identify that the problem is caused by you. However, if you truly believe that the problem is caused by your spouse then you would need to examine the root cause of the problematic behaviour. Ensure that you and your partner sort out the issue constructively and logically. Divorce in this case can be easily avoided. What you really need is a constructive problem-solving approach. Do not hesitate to opt for counselling in this case.


• Do you feel you are in a loveless marriage or are you giving up on your marriage? Many times people just give up on their marriage because they feel giving up is much easier than making it work, considering the amount of frustration they have gone through already. Make sure that you and your partner share the same idea of love. Your partner might still think that you are in love. It is important to establish if you are still in love, or if not, then can the love be rekindled. If love in a marriage holds that much importance to you, then find out ways to bringing that magic back again in your marriage. Your spouse will also have to be supportive of your efforts.


• Is your marriage lacking sexual intimacy? This can be a serious issue if it is important to you. However, this issue too can be worked out with the help of effective communication or the help of a marriage counsellor.


• Are you or your spouse dishonest to each other? Honestly and integrity are the very basis of a marriage and not being able to express your thoughts or feelings or hiding them on purpose can have disastrous effects. A behaviour that might start with petty lies might become a pattern, which could also lead to infidelity. If infidelity is already an issue, then you need to analyse the situation with your spouse before thinking of getting a divorce. If not, then open channels of communication are essential to avoid such kind of pitfalls.


• Does your spouse respect you and openly want to listen to you? Mutual respect is extremely important in a marriage and lack of it can be a serious issue. Your spouse should also respect your opinions. If that is not the case, you and your spouse need an effective communication strategy. However, if this does not work and your spouse is verbally or physically abusive, divorce might be your only option.


• Are your assets at risk? If yes, then you can consider divorce as a likely option.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie *****!!!!!!! DO NOT TRY AND HIDE SNEAKY LINKS IN THE BODY !!!!!***** href="http://www.quickie-divorce.com">Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

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