“Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure” 
~Don Wilder and Bill Rechin

Many people struggle with letting go of the past and they allow what happened to them back then, to continue to affect their life. I know how difficult it is to deal with things that have tormented you in the past, but unless there comes a time in your life when you accept responsibility for what happens in your life today; you will continue to blame things outside of yourself for why things are the way they are now.

There are many people who have had it worse than what you’ve experienced and some have had it a lot better than what you’ve experienced. Regarding the people who have had it worse; I know one thing about life, when you think you’ve had it bad, someone’s always had it worse. These people either pick up the pieces and MOVE ON with their lives, (I can list many of them but the one you may recognize is Oprah) or, they wallow in the misery of what happened to them when they were young and use it as an excuse for how they are living now.

On the other hand, I’ve seen many people who’ve grown up and had privileged lives become failures and others went on to become even more successful.

Your circumstances and who you choose to be with are a direct reflection of what you believe you are worth and what you believe you deserve. Until you start to KNOW that you are a wonderful, loving, person who deserves every happiness as the next person, you will continue to attract toxic people and situations into your life. It’s all about what you believe to be true.

The only thing you have control over is—what you continually tell yourself about anyone, anything and any event in your life. If you are constantly telling yourself negative things, you will continue to live in turmoil and unhappiness. If you start telling yourself that you can get out of this rut and finally, once-and-for-all, leave the past behind and take responsibility for your life, then what you experience will start to change.

As you look at your life, you can see that life is a series of choices, and all of your choices come with consequences, which you are living right now. What I believe is—you need to make a decision. You need to stop blaming your past for your life’s circumstances. Then begin to take responsibility for the choices you’ve made because your past isn’t making you make them, you are making you make them.

Not many people have had a joy ride growing up, but if I sat around and said, “My life is the way it is because of what I had to deal with growing up.” Well, how long can I use the past as an excuse for how I’m living now? Instead, say to yourself, you know, self, it may have been terrible growing up the way I did, but I’m leaving the past behind and I am going to take control of how I live going forward. I am going to stop allowing my past to cloud and destroy my present life.

It is a decision you make. It is a choice you make. Either you can do it, or you can stay the same. You choose. It’s easy to figure out if you’re making good or bad choices. You can tell by using your feelings as a barometer. How do these choices make you feel? If you’re happy, excited, expecting good things, etc., then you’re on the right track. If you’re angry, fearful, frustrated or sad all of the time, your feelings are there to guide you out of your misery.

You can change your old patterns and beliefs, but there isn’t one person on the planet that can do it for you, except you.

We typically make choices that will validate our beliefs. You already feel a certain way inside, so to make yourself right, you make choices that will prove you’re right; that’s the way we set ourselves up in life. Whatever you believe to be true, you will find a way to make it true, even if you do it unconsciously. By making unhealthy, self-limiting choices you remain in a place where you prove that you aren’t worthy of what you desire.

Life is so short to live everyday in drama and chaos. Make choices going forward that are going to make your life better. Quit using your past as an excuse as to why you make bad choices. Sometimes we never figure out why the past made us the way we are, but you don’t need to die trying to find out. It is what it is, and now is what it is now, because of your choices.

Make the best, not the worst of what life has to offer you. You really do deserve it; you just may not know it yet.

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