Listening/Hearing: You can listen to words, but you hear intentions. So frequently we listen without hearing. Everyone seeks to be heard, but few speak their truth eloquently enough so that people listen and they are truly heard. The eloquence of truth is to speak from the heart and allow the words to rise and flow from the mouth. When they are spoken from the head, they drop and fall from the mouth.

How many times have you been listening to your radio, stereo, television, or a conversation with another person and realized that you hadn't heard a single thing? Today we are overloaded with noise of every type and because we are overloaded, we simply don't listen. Or, if we listen, we certainly don't hear.

For those of us who live in cities, finding a quiet refuge away from the sounds and noises of civilization is something we seek but seldom experience. So off we go to the beach, the mountains, to a quiet resort for a relaxing time and what do we do? We take our noise with us on the ski slopes, out on the water, or sitting by the pool. Our noise blocks out not only the sounds of nature, but what others say as well. No wonder we have so many communication problems. No wonder we pay therapists fortunes just so we feel we can feel heard. (And even in therapy,are you really heard or does the therapist just listen for their agenda rather than truly hearing you?)

Why is speaking from the heart preferable to speaking from the head? In actuality, we need to combine both our hearts and our heads. We must use our head to be sound and logical, but wisdom comes from the heart. Without knowledge, without wisdom, without the combination, what we say will too often fall on deaf ears.

Challenge: Next time someone says something that touches your deepest being, notice whether it was merely spoken from the heart, spoken from the head, or did it integrate both parts of your being?

Friends/Enemies: Friends are those who always agree with us, who always support us, and who never think we are wrong (at least to our face). Enemies, on the other hand, will disagree with us, come clean to our face, and care less whether we like it or not.

Usually when salespeople launch their careers, they start by soliciting their family and friends. This may lead to temporary success, but it's certainly not enough to sustain a career. Furthermore, a faulty product or a bad sales experience can turn your friend into an enemy. A very successful salesperson recently summed up the entire issue quite accurately: "When you are in sales, you soon run out of friends, but you can never run out of strangers."

Are you suggesting that we should trust our enemies rather than relying on our friends?

Which person would you rather have with you on a deserted island? One who will give you little to think about, show you no passion, and give you little sense for living. This of course would be your friend. The other would instill within you a sense of purpose, challenge you to rise to your highest self, and would never be boring. So choose your friends carefully and embrace your enemies. One will inflict the wound and the other will lick the wound and you will never know which. If you were alone on a deserted island, would you be alone with your friend or your enemy?

Challenge: Are you up for a really challenging challenge? Take three days and spend them totally alone--no phones, no television, no computer, no family, and no friendly contact. How would you fill your three days? Where and how would you spend your time? How friendly is the friend inside you or is there an enemy you cannot face alone?

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